Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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