you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
