I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize