Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
