sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
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The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
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Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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