No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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