So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
