he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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