I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
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The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
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hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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