If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
