I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
