drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
