Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I intend to get homeless drunk
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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