I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
