remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize