Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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