Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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