Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
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We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
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I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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