i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
