eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
