he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
