There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize