K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
