I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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