he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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