Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
