Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
