Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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