I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
