my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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