We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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