When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
