Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
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Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
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It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!