Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.

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  (415): God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave. http://tfl.nu/thh8
  Replies (2) Good night (751) Bad night (1343)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight

  (1-905): View more from Toronto

  i totally said that

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  (905): i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight (1-905): i totally said that http://tfl.nu/40bc
  Replies (19) Good night (4086) Bad night (584)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I spit up blood this morning

  (206): View more from Washington

  That's vegas.

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  (919): I spit up blood this morning (206): That's vegas. http://tfl.nu/44z7
  Replies (8) Good night (3842) Bad night (1568)
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  (661): View more from California

  I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.

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  (661): I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head. http://tfl.nu/035n
  Replies (6) Good night (2637) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  You're welcome.

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  (262): Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits. (414): You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/kntv
  Replies (9) Good night (2157) Bad night (1113)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.

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  (406): Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues. http://tfl.nu/jvdq
  Replies (7) Good night (758) Bad night (1395)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.

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  (850): I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK. http://tfl.nu/rcbs
  Replies (5) Good night (1655) Bad night (683)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!

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  (478): Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink! http://tfl.nu/6ksq
  Replies (10) Good night (1016) Bad night (908)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.

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  (708): Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything? (1-708): Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference. http://tfl.nu/anav
  Replies (14) Good night (1366) Bad night (652)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him

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  (413): New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him http://tfl.nu/45u3
  Replies (5) Good night (706) Bad night (373)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.

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  (410): Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher. http://tfl.nu/m5qa
  Replies (10) Good night (430) Bad night (829)
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.

  (1-786): View more from Florida

  Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?

  (786): View more from Florida

  I insist.

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  (786): Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted. (1-786): Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat? (786): I insist. http://tfl.nu/nbuf
  Replies (2) Good night (1110) Bad night (359)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?

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  (512): During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados? http://tfl.nu/e60x
  Replies (5) Good night (751) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Do you have pictures of my pancakes

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need to show the world

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife

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  (484): Do you have pictures of my pancakes (484): I need to show the world (484): They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife http://tfl.nu/b4f9
  Replies (0) Good night (401) Bad night (196)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.

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  (503): It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds. http://tfl.nu/d7uw
  Replies (0) Good night (551) Bad night (237)

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