Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(509): View more from Washington

you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin

(509): View more from Washington

and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"

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(509): you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin (509): and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD" http://tfl.nu/lw4q

Replies (37) Good night (3835) Bad night (756)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore

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(405): Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore http://tfl.nu/6icm

Replies (27) Good night (648) Bad night (3386)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?

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(215): I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months? http://tfl.nu/2j7i

Replies (7) Good night (736) Bad night (3989)
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(712): View more from Iowa

I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.

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(712): I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house. http://tfl.nu/f9eu

Replies (28) Good night (771) Bad night (3705)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?

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(203): If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him? http://tfl.nu/p8ua

Replies (8) Good night (3950) Bad night (1116)
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(613): View more from Ontario

The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...

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(613): The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music... http://tfl.nu/dqnk

Replies (7) Good night (2817) Bad night (850)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.

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(770): Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire. http://tfl.nu/2u40

Replies (4) Good night (1193) Bad night (624)
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(406): View more from Montana

after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"

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(406): after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers" http://tfl.nu/5du2

Replies (2) Good night (1153) Bad night (500)
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(630): View more from Illinois

no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.

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(630): no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man. http://tfl.nu/w6gc

Replies (9) Good night (601) Bad night (954)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.

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(832): I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway. http://tfl.nu/6mtf

Replies (2) Good night (492) Bad night (622)
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(619): View more from California

I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.

(619): View more from California

.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.

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(619): I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover. (619): .... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady. http://tfl.nu/q790

Replies (4) Good night (830) Bad night (393)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.

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(202): Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date. http://tfl.nu/o77i

Replies (9) Good night (440) Bad night (1455)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face

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(605): She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face http://tfl.nu/wqsk

Replies (2) Good night (276) Bad night (438)
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(713): View more from Texas

I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.

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(713): I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila. http://tfl.nu/2cgs

Replies (1) Good night (590) Bad night (341)
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(631): View more from New York

I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement

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(631): I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement http://tfl.nu/k8oi

Replies (1) Good night (330) Bad night (410)

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