your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
