i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
