apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
