very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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