He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
