Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
