You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
