A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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