Where is the hickey?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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