hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
