she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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