I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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