the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Holy sore nipples Batman
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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