shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
