hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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