He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
