Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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