I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
