We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
