I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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