A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You need a sexual gate keeper
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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