There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
