And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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