Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
