I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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