I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
